Saturday, April 29, 2006

Dundee Gyp


Earlier in the week I took a trip to Dundee to see Morrissey perform at the Caird Hall. The gig itself was excellent and Morrissey seemed quite chipper, particularly at the thought of visiting Greenock which he reckons has 'great shoe shops' and 'everything you need'. He was supported by Sons and Daughters who surprised me by being very good, very good indeed. I was quite taken with the big strapping lassie singer as were some rather vocal male members of the audience. If I was fronting a band and a member of the audience told me to get my tits out I'd have them killed by security or shoot them. Harsh but fair. I'm sad to report the big strapping lassie wasn't quite as strict as I would have been.

The following day I took a stoat round Dundee concentrating mainly on The Tay which was a sparkly joy. I am a confirmed Tay fan. I was particularly pleased to see that they've added a 'William McGonagall Walk' to the river side so you can walk along laughing yourself silly at his hilarious tribute to 'The Railway Bridge Of The Silvery Tay'.

I stayed at the Apex hotel which has the most obliging staff of any hotel I've ever stayed in. Normally when I check in to a hotel the staff hurl a key at me then ignore me for the rest of my stay. Not the staff at the Apex though, they would offer to have all sorts of things delivered to my room from newspapers to meals. I've never felt so cared for in my life. I have friends and family that have shown me less kindness than the hotel staff in the Apex.

My journey home was less pleasant, though I did witness a most bizarre incident on the train. I was sat gazing out the window minding my own business, when my thoughts were interrupted by a woman shouting 'for God's sake, Shut the door'. I glanced round and was somewhat surprised to see a very red faced woman sitting on the toilet in full view of the passengers. More peculiar still was the behaviour of the man who had opened the door on the poor woman. He seemed frozen to the spot in horror and wasted a good minute saying 'I'm sorry' over and over again before he managed to shut the door. It put me right off my book and has deepened my public toilet phobia.