Monday, February 27, 2006

More Edinburgh Gyp News!


As the illman correctly reports, it was a bit dull as we headed off to Edinburgh but my day was considerably brightened by the fact we'd obviously made the twat across from us on the train hopping mad, by having the temerity to sit opposite him. He looked raging! What a contrast to the cheery atmosphere on the journey back- the encounter with the radical gentleman (reflection pictured above) being the highlight for me. Look at him just sat there plotting whilst pretending to be asleep. I expect we'll see him on the news one day.

Anyway the day itself was pleasant. We took a strut along to the parliament which was shut as the lazy creatures who run the show don't work Friday. I was going to kick the door in and demand admittance as a tax payer but was so non plussed by the outside in the end, I just couldn't be bothered. It's in completely the wrong place which only added to the 'damp squib' effect of the building. I knew the minute they started parading about giving it 'oh of course it's a round debating chamber because we co-operate like Sesame Street', I'd hate the bloody thing. I want opposing benches a mere two daggers apart and a floor awash with blood and I think they should work Fridays. Feel free to copy and paste this and send it to your MSP.

After strutting all the way from the castle to the parliament, it was pub time. The pub itself was nice enough but no-one warned me there was rugby on. Rugger Buggers should be horsewhipped. I don't mean the odd glance at a game type, I mean those braying, honking, bum obsessed toffs who suck the joy out of life every time they open their gargantuan gobs. They were little better than animals. Why it took six of them to gang up on one small barmaid I'll never know. I realise when you've spent most of your childhood being raped by prefects in one of the more exclusive educational establishments, you're likely to find women somewhat tricky but by early middle age you should have moved beyond the grunting stage.

I shall gloss over the rest of the evening as illman has covered it splendidly, though he has overlooked one important detail. We met a convict! A freshly released one at that! However this was no ordinary convict he was called Des and claims to be a nomad. He's planning to go to Newcastle next apparently. I didn't tell him I was a gypper he struck me as an easily confused chap and time was marching on. I would also point out that he was a lot better behaved than the rugger chaps. Perhaps a spell in prison would sort them out.

I've just had a quick scan over my report and it reads like I hated my day out, but I didn't. As long as you wrap up well, you really can't beat a walk round Edinburgh. Almost everywhere you look there's a cracking view or a wee close snaking off the street. A gem of a city and a definite repeat visit is planned.